A new way for you to select your MLA

By DJ Kelly February 21, 2008

Those of you that know me know I’m a perfectionist. Sometimes I’ll go to dizzying lengths to get something just right. To the point some of my family and friends probably, on occasion, think I’m a nut job. (Or just a complete ass.)

Well, to all of you I offer the glorious/rigorous perfectionism of communist China. If you think I’m crazy, get a load of the specifics being sought for an Olympic hostess at the 2008 summer games:

Shanghai’s Xinmin Evening News outlined in detail the “specs” for the hostesses, beginning with “eye length (that) is three-tenths of the face.” It said the judges also stipulated: “Distance between eyebrows and eyes should be one-tenth of the face. The width of the nose should be one-tenth of the face width. The width of the mouth should equal the distance between the pupils. The length of the chin should be one-sixth of the face length.”

Xinmin said the girls selected will be 18 to 24 years old, 1.68 to 1.78 metres tall, have a “rosy and shiny” complexion, “elastic skin,” “smooth and gently curved legs” and a “plump, but not fat” body.

If only I could be so picky when it comes to selecting my women! (Just kidding! I’m married to the most wonderful woman in the world. She already knows I’m an ass and continues to love me for some crazy, but much appreciated, reason.)

Perhaps we should apply this same criteria to potential MLAs running in the provincial election? Ralph Klein always had a “rosy and shiny complexion” (*wink*). And Ed Stelmach certainly has what I might describe as a “plump, but not fat body”. Too bad Kevin Taft’s distance between his eyebrows and eyes are not one-tenth of his face because using this criteria it looks like it will be another PC majority.