Real winners and real losers

By DJ Kelly October 15, 2008

Congratulations to the Conservatives on another minority government. Many consider Stephen Harper’s team’s performance tonight a decisive victory, others will no doubt call it a major loss. So without further adieu I cut through the punditry and give you my ‘real winners and real losers’ of Federal Election 2008:

Honourable Mentions:
Winner: Toronto Conservatives. Just when it looked like Stephen Harper had given up hope on ever having a major breakthrough in Toronto and area, Team Blue delivers in the 416, roundly defeating several Liberal seat holders.

Loser: Quebec Conservatives. Just when it looked like Stephen Harper had given up hope on ever having a major breakthrough in Quebec, Team Blue imploded and struggled to keep even the 10 seats they held last time around. Even hand picked-Senator Michael Fortier couldn’t win. While hand picked-poster child Justin Trudeau had no problem winning in a seat that was anything but a sure bet.

Loser: Elizabeth May. She did great in the debates but just one political decision made before the election was even called was the one that did her in: running against Peter McKay. Why did she run in this riding?! She could have been the first Green MP save for this one extremely bad decision. I think her eyes were bigger than her stomach and she just got greedy. Instead the Green Party stays put with a big ZERO on the board and remains, sadly, irrelevant.

Loser: Bloc Quebecois. Harper hands you a gift and basically gives the entire province the finger and you turn it into… less seats?

Winner: Quebec Liberals. Never was a stronger message given that Quebec really is different than the rest of the country than when it came to the Liberal vote for 2008. Dion must be brilliant in French. How else to explain the Liberal increase in seats? Don’t ask the Bloc or Conservatives, they’ll be sratching their heads for weeks on this one.

Winner: Jack Layton. You may not be Prime Minister, so you’re probably disappointed, but NDP numbers went up across the country and so did your seat count. That makes you a winner, but barely, because their is very little to be proud of here. There’s only so many times you can say “better luck next time”.

Loser: Stephen Harper. How did you NOT get a majority?! Seriously! Stephane Dion could have been condemmed to an asylum part way trough the election and I don’t think it would have made a difference. The election was there for the taking, a better chance could not be imagined, and still… only a 15 or so seat increase. Never should a leader be so disappointed with his party’s win. Has Harper hit his ceiling? What went wrong? Hopefully something went wrong and he can identify it otherwise there is only one other answer: the majority of Canadian’s don’t like or trust you. And that doesn’t bode well for your party EVER returning to majority stauts.

Surprising Runner Up:
Loser: Stephane Dion. Harper can console his Loser status by knowing that Dion ranked higher on the Loser list. I don’t need to harp on Dion and his leadership. That’s just kicking a guy when he’s down. Instead I’ll let your party do it. Perhaps at the upcoming leadership review? See you then, Stephane. It ain’t going to be pretty.

Grand Champion:
Loser: Canadians. Did you enjoy your unexciting Fall election that left us right back where we left off? With a – as the Prime Minister himself puts it – “dysfunctional parliament”. Surely, you must at least feel a little lighter after all the frivolity? Maybe that is the lack of $300 million making you feel lighter. That’s how much you just paid for… whatever it was that we just got to do. Thank goodness we have fixed election dates to look forward to that will make sure this kind of thing won’t happen again… oh… yeah. Hmm. So much for that idea too, huh?

So there it is, my (annual?) Federal Election Real Winners and Real Losers. Shall we do it again next Fall? See you then, everybody!